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Can I Get A Tax Deduction On This Skirt By Showing It On This Blog?

from miscellaneous on 2019-10-30 ↩ back

Everyone knows that my favourite thing is capitalism, but do you know what I love more than capitalism?

Money.

Today I am going to teach you how to do tax evasion by using this a skirt I bought as an example. Specifically, we are going to overstate our deductions because I think it's more interesting than lying about your income.

Just as a disclaimer, THIS ISN'T ACTUAL TAX ADVICE GO TO AN ACCOUNTANT. However, I did get good grades in high school business studies as well as legal studies so I think I know what I'm talking about. I won't give you my actual grades, but believe me when I say it's good.

Anyway, the first thing to do when you overstate your deductions is to make sure you can claim it as a deduction. So with that all said: "can you claim designer skirts as a tax deduction?"

No.

For individuals, you can only deduct clothing expenses if it's work uniform[1], and I don't think $300 skirts are part of any work uniform.

But that's for individuals, what if you're a business? I am currently a contractor which means I own a business, can I claim the skirt through the business instead?

According to the ATO there are three rules to a business deduction[2]:

  1. The expense must have been for your business, not for private use.
  2. If the expense is for a mix of business and private use, you can only claim the portion that is used for your business.
  3. You must have records to prove it.

Let's go through each point and see if it applies to my skirt.

  1. I wear clothes when writing software, so YES! I can say it's for my business.
  2. This rule is a bit troublesome. I want to claim all of it because I like money but the skirt isn't always used for the business because I'm not ALWAYS writing software while wearing it. However, I do think about the software I write while wearing the skirt, SO I CAN STILL SAY I'M WORKING!
  3. Unfortunately, I don't have a mind reading device to prove I'm thinking about work. But I think I can substitute this for just tweeting that I'm thinking about work instead.

So far we've got some pretty solid arguments for writing this skirt as a tax deduction, but maybe your not convinced. You're scared that the big, bad ATO is going to come to your house, put down your cat, ruin your DOTA 2 win-loss ratio and flush your toothbrush down the toilet.

Don't worry I understand, these are all common worries as tax evasion can be a scary thing especially if this is your first time. To help ease your fears, we're going to get a bit more proof that we can claim the skirt as a tax deduction by using my third favourite thing: advertising. Using good 'ol manipulation to get people to give you money, who doesn't love it?

I haven't actually checked yet, but I'm 100% sure we could claim the skirt as a tax deduction if we say it's for advertising. Like I said, I don't have the proof yet, but it seems like something that you could do, yes? Just gimme a minute and I'll find the documentation for it.

Okay. It's been 30 minutes. I've looked all over the ATO website, the only instance of using advertising as a tax deduction is if… you're in the adult industry[3]. I went through EVERY occupation and this was the only one that even MENTIONED advertising. Now I don't know if this means that only people in the adult industry can advertise, but wow wee did this really put a wrench in my plans.

Now what? Give up all my dreams of getting more money? Go back to the slums with the rest of you peasants? Pay my taxes properly?

NO! SCREW THAT! I WANT MONEY!

Here's the new plan:

  1. Pivot my business into the adult industry.
  2. Take a picture of me (with the skirt on) advertising myself and publish it to the internet.
  3. Claim that tax deduction.
  4. Pivot back into software consulting before anyone actually tries to do "business with me".

A galaxy brained plan if I do say so myself. But where to publish the photo? Just kidding, I'm sure you've read the title of this post. Here it is:

goblin

What? It's just a normal picture. I know what you're thinking and no, I'm not doing that.


[1]: https://www.ato.gov.au/individuals/income-and-deductions/deductions-you-can-claim/clothing,-laundry-and-dry-cleaning-expenses/

[2]: https://www.ato.gov.au/Business/Income-and-deductions-for-business/Deductions/#whatyoucanclaim

[3]: https://www.ato.gov.au/Individuals/Income-and-deductions/In-detail/Occupation-and-industry-specific-guides/Adult-industry-workers---income-and-work-related-deductions/?page=2#Advertising

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